ILLUMINATING BEAM

Wanting to know, trying to understand

 
illuminatingbeam, kindy painting, United Way of Massachusetts Bay (circle with insert).jpg

When you are thinking about your child’s mind carefully, you are using your illuminating (‘lighting up’) beam.

In illuminating beam mode you are very interested, curious, imaginative, wondering, wanting to know.

We think that as a parent, you are like a lighthouse, shining a bright light to see the thoughts and feelings under a child’s behaviour.

When you are wondering what is in your child’s mind, when you are trying to see the world through their eyes, or when you are wondering what feeling, thought or belief might have led them to behave like that, you are using your illuminating beam.

In MBT, this is called mentalizing.

 
 

Shine on!

 

ILLUMINATING BEAM PICTURE GALLERY

We’ve started collecting pictures, quotes, video clips that we think capture what it’s like to be have your illuminating beam on. Have a browse. What feelings, memories or ideas do these pictures stir in you? We’d love to hear!


Try this:

Scroll some of the photos on your phone now. Can you find a photo that captures a moment when your own illuminating beam was on? Do you look genuinely interested in your child’s mind in that moment? Do you look open to ideas, wondering, curious, maybe even confused (that’s all part of wanting-to-know, after all!). How would your child be able to see that you wanted to know, or that you were trying to understand?

 
 

MENTALIZING WORDS

Have a look at these words and phrases. As you read them, you might hear your own voice, or someone else’s. Noticing the language we’re using (when speaking to our children, when in conversation with others, or just in our own minds, when talking to ourselves) can help us notice when we are mentalizing.


Try this:
Listen out! In your conversations with others today, can you spot some mentalizing or non-mentalizing words?