When you are simply 'there' for your child, you make him feel safe. Your presence is a welcome place for him to rest and be himself; to seek comfort if something has been difficult, or share delight and tell stories. For your child, you are a safe harbour he needs between adventures.
WANTING TO KNOW
When you are wondering what is in your child’s mind, when you are trying to see the world from her eyes, or when you are thinking to yourself: 'what feeling or thought could have led her to behave like that?', your curiosity is like a lighthouse's illuminating beam.
READY TO NOTICE
When you’re ‘keeping tabs on’ where your child is, or ‘keeping an ear out’ for how he’s getting on, you’re using your scanning beam. In this mode you’re receptive; you’re ready to attend more closely if you notice that your child needs comfort, help, or needs you to delight their fun.
More about your scanning beam →
I'M LEARNING, PLAYING
When your child is playing, making something, when she is looking at something carefully, trying something different, practicing a new skill, taking on a difficult challenge, she is exploring and learning.
More examples of exploration mode →
I NEED SOMETHING
When your child is struggling with something – when he is worried, frightened, lonely, angry, bored, confused, frustrated, sad, tired, or uncomfortable – we could say he is in rough seas.
I NEED HELP! (ACTING FINE)
When your child looks (or says he is) ‘fine’ or ‘OK’ in situations that you imagine he might feel hurt, scared, sad, embarrassed, then he may be on the raft. He may be pretending on the surface that all is well but actually he is really pushing her painful feelings down and out view.
Moe examples of the raft